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Basic Toilet Humor

Restroom comedy has traditionally served as the reliable retreat in everyday journalism, and we are always mindful of notable bog-related stories and historic moments, notably connected to soccer. It was quite amusing to find out that an online journalist a famous broadcaster has a West Brom-themed urinal in his house. Reflect for a moment about the Tykes follower who understood the bathroom rather too directly, and needed rescuing from a deserted Oakwell after falling asleep on the loo midway through a 2015 losing match by Fleetwood. “He had no shoes on and couldn't find his phone and his cap,” stated an official from the local fire department. And everyone remembers when, at the height of his fame at Manchester City, Mario Balotelli visited a nearby college to access the restrooms back in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, before entering and requesting the location of the toilets, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” an undergraduate shared with local Manchester media. “Later he simply strolled through the school as if he owned it.”

The Lavatory Departure

Tuesday represents 25 years since Kevin Keegan stepped down as the England coach after a brief chat within a restroom stall alongside FA executive David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, following that infamous 1-0 defeat against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the legendary venue. As Davies remembers in his diary, his private Football Association notes, he stepped into the wet beleaguered England dressing room right after the game, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams energized, both of them pleading for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies found him slumped – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – within the changing area's edge, whispering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies worked frantically to save the circumstance.

“Where on earth could we find for confidential discussion?” recalled Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with an England manager as players dived into the water. Only one option presented itself. The restroom stalls. A significant event in English football's extensive history occurred in the ancient loos of a stadium facing demolition. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I secured the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I can’t motivate the players. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Aftermath

And so, Keegan resigned, eventually revealing he viewed his period as Three Lions boss “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I began working with the visually impaired team, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It's an extremely challenging position.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. For better or worse, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are no longer present, whereas a German currently occupies in the technical area Keegan previously used. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Real-Time Coverage

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“There we stood in a long row, clad merely in our briefs. We were Europe’s best referees, elite athletes, role models, adults, parents, strong personalities with great integrity … but no one said anything. We hardly glanced at one another, our gazes flickered a bit nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with an ice-cold gaze. Mute and attentive” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“How important is a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss named ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to manage the main squad. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles.

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and awarded some merch, I've chosen to type and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts on the school grounds with children he knew would beat him up. This self-punishing inclination must explain his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|